Employment

So I had to fill out a government form for California when I started my job asking about my previous employment. This was in attempt to better understand the job market in the state and assess how well our wonderful government's unemployment department is handling this economy. The form asked,

"How long did you look for work after your previous employment before finding this position? What was your previous employment?"

I seriously looked at this form for approximately 10 minutes while all the other new hires were hurriedly scribbling all their past experiences to prove they were no bozos. Finally, I wrote,

"What previous employment?"

I think Jerry Brown will appreciate that for his statistical sampling. Although in hindsight, this probably wasn't the best response b/c you know all the entitlement programs are going to use that as the poster child for stimulus dollars suddenly employing some life-long welfare case as an accountant. Anyway, let's leave politics out of this....

I guess people in this working-career world have a notion that most people have jobs. In fact, apparently they believe BOTH parties in a marriage would have a job (we're still working on 50%). Hence, I get this question a lot:

"So what does your husband do?"

At this point I pause for an uncomfortable moment to watch their face suddenly become concerned I have some unemployed liability and therefore assume my next logical step will be a lawsuit suing them for harassment. See, it takes me a moment to pick my response First, I rank the inquisitor on a scale from witty to unimaginative. Now, given my line or work and the stereotypes thus attached, I usually just have to safely respond that he is "self-employed," "in sales," or "taking classes."

*Which I must make a disclaimer that most of my colleagues are hilarious. I guess stereotyping isn't always appropriate, who knew? ;)

While all of the above responses have emblems of truth... but I feel like the most accurate responses would be:

Aquaponics Enthusiast

honestly, 9 out of 10 times when I get home I find this.

And let this be a warning to our neighbors... apparently Eric is always scantily clad while doing his aquaponics and also strategically positioning the plant life to provide the illusion he is indeed nude, so be careful if you have a wandering eye.

I have enjoyed the fruits of his labor though... or should I say "vegetables" of his labor? Mwahahaha.

Another great description of my amazing husband's largest pastime would be:

Church Baller

Remember growing up on Tuesday or Wednesday nights, all the men aged 12-85 would gather and bring their friends for a couple hours of wholesome church basketball? Often there wasn't much real talent and everyone would still pass the ball to the 4 foot 12 year old because they probably got picked on at school and wouldn't get a chance to play otherwise?

Yeah, Eric's not into that.

Eric will often wake up at 530 AM to play in the mornings and will sometimes play til midnight in the evenings. Now, I heard the crew that played at our building in Saratoga were a little rough, but from the looks of things I'm pretty sure they were actually referring to the white boy that most enjoys spending his days gardening (i.e. my husband).

Here's just a few pics of Eric after another family-friendly game:
Note: the cut near his eye still noticeable two days later...... and the black eye on another occasion.

I just want to say "I'm sorry" to all those that may have sustained similar injuries at the hands of my husband. Apparently, he's not there to make friends.